Final Exams vs. Me

I am so not prepared for finals. Well, I am, I have to be. But mentally and physically, all I want to do is take a nap. Recently I have given up on having any sort of self-discipline, and because of it, I’ve been super inefficient. I’ll sit down to study or do homework, and magically a minute later I’m looking up stuff on Buzzfeed or checking Facebook. It’s actually quite frustrating because I end up going to bed really late, and wake up grumpy the next morning. Every afternoon after dinner I sit down on the little couch in my room with the most efficient homework/ study schedule mapped out in my mind. If I were to follow it religiously, I would be in bed by 9:30. In actuality, I go to bed at 11:30 because I decide to relax and take some time to do other things. I really end up annoying myself after I postpone things to the last minute, but then I keep on doing it again and again.

As finals creep around the corner I have to force myself to be a efficient as humanly possible. I want to have a great week next week, be fully rested, and tackle all of those exams head on. It’s going to be tough though. I was ever so briefly looking through my math notes from the entire year and I realized I forgot half of what we had talked about. I guess I’m just sort of in this mode where I learn all the things I need to for just one exam, and then I forget about it when it’s done. My short term memory has gotten great over the years, but my long-term memory is still as selective as ever. And it’s not that I don’t like what I’m learning, I do, but sometimes I just try to cram all the information I can into my brain so that there’s no chance of me reaching a problem that I can’t answer on a test.

I hate the feeling of taking a test and then reaching a problem for which I can’t find a solution. Some people can work their way around problems they don’t understand, but I just find myself wasting time by staring at the prompt, seeing if it will someone make any sense. I don’t want that to happen to me next week. I just want to get those exams done, and then go to Florida with my family. It’s so awful sometimes how they can pile so many exams on you, then expect you to have a delightful break even as you wonder if the error you made on the final will determine your grade in a class. It’s a lot of pressure, and we are conditioned to deal with it, but still, a lot of tests all at once can be a pain. All I can do for now is focus and to the best I can to make the best of the situation. Good luck to all of you taking finals!

Reading vs. Reality

A couple weeks ago I decided to set time out of my schedule for something that I wanted to do. Since I was really tired and I didn’t have that much homework, I decided to just check out a book from the school library. Being the huge nerd I am, I picked up a book about physics. I’ve seriously considered major in something physics-related, so I thought, “Why not?” Anyway, the book did not disappoint. The book I checked out is about the physics behind machines you see in science fiction movies (things like time travel and force fields) and if we can attain/ have already attained that through our scientific standing. The book is called the “Physics of the Impossible” by Michio Kaku, and it was honestly very good. It was short and easy to wrap your head around since the chapters and concepts were interesting, and he didn’t include much in terms of complex calculus.

Now don’t think this is a book talk (although I do recommend this book to anyone that likes science fiction), because besides enjoying the book, it did make me self-conscious. The first few chapters briefly mention the author’s background, and I just was blown away. His childhood dream was to major in physics, and to do that he did something that I think is insane. He built a particle generator in high school that, “...generated a magnetic field of twenty thousand times the Earth’s magnetic field...” He went on to win the National Science Fair and he got accepted to Harvard where he became a theoretical physicist. So after reading forty pages in I finally took the time to look in the back of the book and see who the author was, because I hadn't really placed his name with a face yet. Michio Kaku is one of the co-founders of string theory, and I had seen him in a lot of science documentaries I’d watched as a kid. He was my idol when I was little, and I wanted to be as successful and as smart as he was.

Ok, has it ever happened to you that when you read a book, you start to feel like you and the main character are very similar? Well that’s how I felt about this book as a started to read the first few chapters. But as I read more and more about his life, he and I seemed worlds apart. Frankly, it kind of worried me. I want to be like him some day, but I haven’t won any science awards or taken even calculus yet. It really made me nervous on how little I’ve actually prepared for majoring in physics.

I know that to be a successful physicist you don’t need to have gotten a bucket-load of awards, but it doesn't hurt if you want to be prepared and stand out in a college application. But, I firmly decided not to despair. This is something that I want to do because I really enjoy it, so although I might not be as prepared as others potentially might be, I will try to become more goal oriented in what I want to pursue. This book was fantastic, and although I originally began to worry about my abilities and previous scientific experiences, this book, but mostly the author, have really inspired me to start reaching for my goal. Turns out my light reading was a good choice after all!

The Future

This is going to be my very short rant about being an adult, as it was the first thing I could think of writing. Anyway, at this point in my life, this topic is both exhilarating and scary. I don’t know exactly what I want to study, or what I want to do with my life. People always talk about their lives changing, and things happening that they didn’t expect. I don’t like surprises. I just wish I knew who I would become. If I could look into the future and see what my life would be like, I would.

Being an adult is a big step. I’ll admit adult life isn’t as interesting as I once thought it was. When I was little, I couldn’t wait for the day when I could drive, vote, and work. I thought those were the coolest things in the world, and I wanted to be a part of them. Now I know that it’s not that easy. Being an adult is a lot of responsibility. I don’t even want to start thinking about paying taxes, rent, or insurance.  When you’re an adult, you have to do things on your own and be responsible for your actions. It’s a lot to take on if you’re not ready.

I think I’m on my way to being ready. But I think that although adult life is serious, it’s also a lot of fun. I have a huge bucket list that I want to finish up. I want to get a pet, buy a motorcycle, learn how to do parkour. I want everything from being successful and having a comfortable life to learning how to speak to Russian and how to bake. The future is open for me to make of it what I want. The possibilities are endless, to a certain degree. Don’t you ever think about who you might be in the future, what you could accomplish? I think about it all the time.

The future isn’t such a bad prospect. It is going to be a lot of work, but it’s also going to be a learning experience. I just hope that I’ll be able to look back on my life and be proud of the decisions that I’ve made.

What do I write about?

I don’t know what to write about. I’ve been sitting here, contemplating the screen for a good twenty minutes, but I can’t think of anything. Ok, I’m officially desperate because this is due today. What if I Google a random phrase generator? Maybe it’ll get my creative juices flowing...That didn’t help me at all. What am I supposed to do with something like, “ghostliest refreshment?” What does that even mean? Ok, nope, I’m wasting time, I’m not going to write about that. What about just searching up a list of blog topics?...Ha, no. Out of a list of eighty-one possible blog topics on this website, the only thing I feel I can relate to is hamburgers. Definitely not a good start for a post.

I go through this thought process every time I try to write a blog post. Some weeks it’s not so hard to come up with something to write about, but other times it’s nearly impossible. And the thing is, coming up with something to write about isn’t so hard, but finding something I’m satisfied with is a completely different thing. Some people can spontaneously start writing and end up with a beautiful little couple of paragraphs that they like. I, on the other hand, can’t start out so casually. I am very critical of my own writing, and I end up deleting the majority of the things that I’ve written. It’s something I’ve been trying to get past, but my perfectionist spirit is fighting back.

The freedom to chose what to write is also something that I’ve struggled with. The majority of my school career I was always told what to write. I would grumble about what seemed like an annoying prompt, wishing to get the chance to decide what to talk about, but I would get over it and do the assignment. Getting to choose what to write is uncharted territory, and when I sit down to contemplate it, my mind goes blank. I definitely feel out of my comfort zone, but I’m learning to get past it. It’s honestly fun to have no (reasonable) restrictions about my writing, it’s just different.

Probably the biggest issue I have with finding a good blog topic is that I lose concentration really easily. I’ll be looking up random blog topics, like I do all the time, and then I’ll magically end up on Youtube. Well, not magically, but suddenly I’ll remember a really funny video that I loved and I’ll end up rewatching it. Then that leads to other videos, and then I realized I wasted an hour. Other times I’ll be hungry, go to the kitchen to get food, and then I’ll end up watching a TV show with my mom for the next hour. Needless to say, I don’t get anywhere if I’m not completely focused.

In the scheme of things, though, blogging is very entertaining. Even though I have issues starting out, I think it’s a great creative outlet, and I love that I can express myself the way I want to. It’s just that starting out takes some extra effort on my part because I can get way too picky and distracted!

Some Hallway Etiquette

I’ve really enjoyed my four years at Uni. I love the people, the education, the atmosphere, and the liberty. I don’t have many complaints about the school, but there’s one thing that really bugs me, and it hasn’t gotten better as the years have gone by. What really annoys me is Uni’s hallways during passing periods.

I’m going to start out by saying that this is just my general views and opinions on what I’ve seen throughout my past four years at this school. I’m also going to admit that I have done some of the things that I’m going to mention below, but I’ve gotten better in being more considerate about how I move across Uni’s busy halls.

My two main complaints about Uni hallways during passing periods:

1. There’s always someone that walks SO slowly down the middle of the hallway, right in the middle of the passing period. You know what? It doesn’t even bug me that they’re walking slowly. I don’t judge them because they might’ve just gotten back from fitness, they’re conserving energy for a sport commitment they have in the afternoon, or are just tired. I understand, I’ve been through that a lot. I just wish that they could just move over to the edge of the hall and not block anyone else’s path. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve tried to maneuver around someone, but haven’t been able to because that person just won’t move over to let me pass by and there’s no more room anywhere else. More times than I can count I’ve had to do the awkward half-walk/ half-jog around that person, or people, to then speed walk to my next class. And I realize that no one does it on purpose, because if I asked anyone, I know they would kindly move aside. Maybe it’s just that they have a lot of things on their mind (teenagers tend to have that), or they're just focusing all of their energy on getting from point A to point B, and they forget a little about their surroundings.

2. There’s always someone that’s walking efficiently down the hall and sporadically they choose to stop and start talking to their friends in the middle of the hall, not letting anyone through. I’m totally for conversing with friends, I know there might be something essential that you forgot to tell them, but please, like I said before, just move over or save it for later. Whatever you have to say to your friend, nine times out of ten, it can wait. And if you do find yourself needing to stop, move quickly out of the middle of the hallway. Now, it you are on the stairs, dear god, do not stop and talk to your friends! It makes walking up or down each floor so much harder, and for those of us that are less coordinated (like myself) it can actually be dangerous. Save it for when you are finished climbing the stairs.

I know in the scheme of things it’s not a huge issue, but it is something that, at times, has really irritated me. It’s not all the time, but maybe there’s just that one person that almost made me late to my class because they didn’t move over just a little to let me go by, or that other person that almost made me trip because they just chose to stop walking. Basically I wanted to emphasize how we should be more considerate as we move through our small school. Let's have some hallway etiquette, for our sake and for that of others.

As I swim

I push off of the wall into the water and completely submerge myself. For the tiniest fraction of a second the only thing I can see are bubbles. As I breathe out, I can feel them stroking my face, they are so little and delicate. But their presence is just as quickly forgotten as my body recognizes the that fact that the pool’s temperature doesn't coincide with the way I’m feeling. I’m still very sleepy, it being five thirty in the morning and all, and the water feels like ice on my skin. I instantly wish that I was still at home under the covers, warm and resting. I know that everyone else wants to go to sleep just as much as I do, but this is the only time we can practice during the week. I love swimming, but getting in is always the hardest part because you don’t except the pool to be cold, but it always is.

Swimming vigorously for the next couple seconds I try to warm up, my thoughts slowly becoming more and more coherent. After the first lap I settle into a comfortable pace. I attempt to use what little concentration I have on counting my laps for the warm-up, but my mind wanders. I think about my arms moving through the water, my goggles slowly begin to fog up and my cap starts shifting higher and higher on my forehead. My eyes start roaming restlessly. I can see the lifeguard and the flags out of the corner of my eye. My gaze shifts to the bottom of the pool. The tiles are gray and old, and the water looks bluer. I look over at the lane beside mine and I don’t know who it is, but I can see them ahead of me. I decide to catch up with them to not finish the warm-up last. 

Suddenly something in my brain starts telling me that I’m reaching the end of the pool. I tilt my head up slightly for confirmation. I watch the wall get closer and closer, and I instinctively calculate how many more strokes I can take before I have to do a flip turn. Somersaulting lightly I look to the lane beside me to see if we are going at the same pace. I push off the wall, and I notice that the water feels warmer now. I wonder what type of workout we’ll have today. I forgot to check the workout sheet laid out, but I’ll just look at it in a second. I have one quarter lap left and I kick harder. The wall gets closer and I reach out with one hand to grasp the edge. When I touch the wall I immediately stand up, a little out of breath. Good, I’m done with the warm-up! I look at the workout sheet and take a deep breath, readying myself for the next hour and fifteen minutes.

My Baking Misadventures

Yes, it’s the sad truth, baking is absolutely not my forte. I can cook, but I can’t bake to save my life. Cookies, pies, cakes, breads, they all suffer the same fate; becoming a charred, gruesome mess or so hard that taking a bite becomes almost impossible. And the thing is, I don’t do it on purpose! I actually attempt to follow the recipe, step by step, but, no, not once have they ever turned out to be edible. I thought for a while that baking could become a hobby of mine, just like some people like gardening, but I just gave up. And the thing that makes me so sad it that I hate wasting food, but I keep trying because my favorite type of foods are those that can be baked.

The following are actual things that happened to me:

The first thing I remember baking was brownies. Oh, my mouth watered at the idea of chocolatey goodness. I followed the recipe (and mind you, it was one of those quick mixes from a box), I got the pan measured, buttered, and ready. So I do everything that the box says to do, and put it in the oven for the recommended time. I come back later when the timer goes off, and it’s still not all solid, so I leave it for a couple more minutes. Maybe five to seven minutes later I peer into the oven, and it’s all burned! I don’t even know how that possibly could’ve happened, but it did. My mother tried to salvage them, but when she finished, all that remained was a notebook-thick sheet of brownies. She had to cut the top and the bottom off because it was burned black. And then, to make everything absolutely worse, it hardened so much that biting a piece off took the jaw strength of an alligator.

The second thing I remember baking was bread. I wanted some french bread to make into a sub sandwich later for lunch (apparently I had learned nothing from my previous experience). I followed the steps I found from a generic food recipe website very diligently, but when the bread came out, it was rock hard. It was so tough that at one point I beat it against the table in desperation, and it wouldn’t break. I had to resort to eating a sandwich with regular sandwich bread. I was not happy, and neither was my mom who was also looking forward to the subs.

And so, I’ve given up on baking for the time being. Baking is a good task to know how to do, but I really feel bad about wasting so much food when I’ll just have to throw it away later. It would be nice to bake some treats for my secret buddy, or for a snack, but I’ll just compromise by getting some nice, store bought baked goods.